Friends-speak

FRIENDS-SPEAK

I've decided to change this page to include some funny quotes from the other members of the Friends cast cause I've realised that Chandler Bing is not the only witty one! So here goes…

Chandler Bing

Chandler: "You've been post-dating your Friday numbers."

Woman: "And that's bad because..."

Chandler: "Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack."

~*~

Ross (hanging up after taking message from KC for Rachel): "What uh, what does he want with her?"

Chandler: "I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance...you know, make a little love...pretty much get down tonight."

~*~

Joey: "Hey! Some girl ate Monica."

Monica: "Oh, shut up! The camera adds ten pounds."

Chandler: "Ahhh...so how many cameras are actually on you?"

~*~

Monica: "Alright. I've got a leg, three breasts and a wing."

Chandler: "Well, how do you find clothes that fit?"

~*~

Ross: "Do you guys know who Carl is?"

Chandler: "Let's see...Alvin...Simon...Theodore...no."

~*~

Chandler: "Hey, stick a fork in me, I am done!"

Phoebe: "Stick a fork what?"

Chandler: "Like when you're cooking a steak."

Phoebe: "Oh, OK, I don't eat meat."

Chandler: "Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?"

Phoebe: "Well you know, you just, you eat them and you can tell."

Chandler: "OK, then, eat me, I'm done."

~*~

Chandler: "Hey, big guy. Game time!"

Richard: "Be right there."

Monica: "There's a game?"

Chandler: "Uh, yeah. I just got my pick-up sticks back from the shop. Bring your nerves of steel!"

~*~

Chandler (to Joey): "You know that thing where we talk to each other about things? Let's not do that anymore."

~*~

Chandler: "Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a back-up plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon."

~*~

Ross: "Well, there's this, uh, palaeontology conference in L.A. so I figured I'd go and then drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel."

Chandler: "You know, I think he will be surprised, 'til he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion."

~*~

Chandler: "You - move out! Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!"

Eddie: "You, you want, you want me to move out?"

Chandler: "Uh-huh."

Eddie: "I uh, I gotta tell you man, I mean, that's uh, kinda out of the blue. I mean, don't you think?"

Chandler: "This is not out of the blue. This is smack dab in the middle of the blue."

~*~

Phoebe: "I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so that you guys could watch TV with your feet up."

Chandler: "They were chair-shaped cows. They never would've survived in the wild."

~*~

Joey referring to the bracelet he gave to Chandler: "You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?"

Chandler: "Well, it'll probably slow it down at first, but once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track."

~*~

Monica: "God, this is so hard, I can't decide between lamb or duck."

Chandler: "Of course lambs are scarier. Otherwise, the movie would've been called, The Silence of the Ducks."

~*~

Monica: "Oh, ummm, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was, uh, a little bigger then."

Chandler: "Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained."

~*~

Rachel: "Oh my God!"

Joey: "What is with your nose?"

Rachel: "They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum."

Chandler: "OK. I was wrong. That's what they used to cover Connecticut."

~*~

Phoebe: "No. Uh-uh. No way. Not gonna happen."

Chandler: "Whoa. Whoa. Prom night flashback!"

~*~

Joey (at Carol and Susan's wedding): "It just seems so futile, ya know. All these women and...nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, ya know. I have the cape and yet cannot fly."

Chandler: "Well, now you understand how I feel every single day, OK. The world is my lesbian wedding."

~*~

Ross: "This is so exciting! I haven't seen my monkey in almost a year."

Chandler: "What, you never look down in the shower?"

~*~

Eddie: "OK, then I want to hear you say it. I, I want to hear you say you want me out."

Chandler: "I want you out."

Eddie: "No no no, I wanna hear it from your lips."

Chandler: "Where did you hear it from before?"

~*~

Joey's Girlfriend: "There is a child inside this man."

Chandler: "Yes, the doctors say that if they remove it he'll die."

~*~

Chandler: "Janice was my safety net, okay? And now I have to get a snake."

Phoebe: "Uh huh, and why is that?"

Chandler: "If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm going to need a thing, you know -- a hook. Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, you know? Crazy Snake Man. Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies; kids won't walk by my place, they will run! 'Run away from Crazy Snake Man!' they'll shout!"

~*~

Ross: "I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I going to raise a kid?"

Chandler: "You know Ross, some scientists are now saying that monkeys and babies are actually different."

~*~

Ronni: "Most people when their pets pass on, they want them laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you'll get the person who'll want them in a pose, like chasing their tail...or jumping to catch a Frisbee."

Chandler: "Joey, if I go first, I want to be 'looking for my keys.'"

~*~

Chandler (on phone): "I got her machine."

Joey: "Her answering machine?"

Chandler: "No, interesting enough, her leaf blower picked up.

~*~

Joey: "I loved high school. You know, it was just, like, four years of parties and dating and sex..."

Chandler: "Yeah, well, I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would have involved a major lifestyle choice."

~*~

Chandler: "Hey, you know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is smoking's cool and you know it."

~*~

Ross: "A thumb?!"

Phoebe: "I know, I know."

All: "Ewwwwwwwwwww!"

Phoebe: "I opened it up, and there it was just floating there, like this tiny little hitchhiker."

Chandler: "Well maybe its a contest, you know? Like collect all five?"

~*~

Chandler (after refusing gum from Jill Goodacre): "What the hell was that? Mental note: if Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you a mangled animal carcass, you take it."

~*~*~*~


Joey Tribbiani

Joey: "Haven't you ever been beaten up before?"

Ross: "Yeah!"

Joey: "By someone besides Monica?"

~*~

Joey: "Let me get this straight: He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking that this is a great idea?"

Phoebe: "Uh-huh."

Joey: "This man is my god!"

~*~

Joey: "Yeah I know exactly what she's goin' through."

Monica: "How do you know exactly what she's going through?"

Joey: "She told us."

~*~

Joey: "Monica, pigeons learn faster than you do."

~*~

Rachel: "Oh, and on page 2, he's not reaching for her 'heaving beasts.'"

Monica: "What's a 'niffle?'"

Joey: "You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts.'"

~*~

Chandler: "Is she good looking?"

Joey: "Yeah, she's totally good looking, I mean if I met her in a bar or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. . . you know after having slept with her."

~*~

Joey: "Wait, wait, wait... you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt is blocking me... There I am... There I am... There I am... There I am..."

~*~

Ross: "Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight."

Joey: "Oh no! How can she do that, when she's never shown any interest in you?!?"

~*~

Ross: "She's my ex-wife. If, if she were marrying a guy, none of you would expect me to be there."

Joey: "Hey, if she were marrying a guy she'd be, like, the worst lesbian ever."

~*~

Ross referring to Rachel's resumes: "Rachel, did you proof-read these first?"

Rachel: "Yeah, why?"

Ross: "Oh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent 'compuper' skills."

Rachel: "Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?"

Joey: "Oh, no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few."

~*~

Ross: "Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?"

Joey: "Probably kill myself."

Ross: "What?"

Joey: "Hey, if little Joey's dead, I've got no reason to live."

Ross: "No Joey, omnipotent."

Joey: "Ross? You are? Oh, I'm sorry!"

~*~

Monica: "Hey. Where is he? Where's Richard? Did you ditch him?

Joey: "Yeah. Right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you? He's parking the car!"

~*~

Joey: "Hi! I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio."

Auditioner: "What's your name?

Joey: "Holden McGroin"

~*~

Ross: "I, I don't know. It's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it, but she's, she's pretty upset about it."

Joey: "See. This is why I don't date women who read!"

~*~

Ross: "What? Whoa! Whoa! $3500 at Porcelain Safari?"

Joey: "My animals. Hey, the guy said they suited me. He spoke with an accent...I was all confused."

~*~

Ross (in reference to Marcel): "He's reached sexual maturity."

Joey (to Chandler): "Hey! He beat 'ya!"

~*~

Ross: "I'm not in the [friend] zone."

Joey: "You're mayor of the zone."

~*~*~*~



Joey Tribbiani

Joey: "Haven't you ever been beaten up before?"

Ross: "Yeah!"

Joey: "By someone besides Monica?"

~*~

Joey: "Let me get this straight: He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking that this is a great idea?"

Phoebe: "Uh-huh."

Joey: "This man is my god!"

~*~

Joey: "Yeah I know exactly what she's goin' through."

Monica: "How do you know exactly what she's going through?"

Joey: "She told us."

~*~

Joey: "Monica, pigeons learn faster than you do."

~*~

Rachel: "Oh, and on page 2, he's not reaching for her 'heaving beasts.'"

Monica: "What's a 'niffle?'"

Joey: "You usually find them on the 'heaving beasts.'"

~*~

Chandler: "Is she good looking?"

Joey: "Yeah, she's totally good looking, I mean if I met her in a bar or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. . . you know after having slept with her."

~*~

Joey: "Wait, wait, wait... you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt is blocking me... There I am... There I am... There I am... There I am..."

~*~

Ross: "Well, Rachel's having drinks with him tonight."

Joey: "Oh no! How can she do that, when she's never shown any interest in you?!?"

~*~

Ross: "She's my ex-wife. If, if she were marrying a guy, none of you would expect me to be there."

Joey: "Hey, if she were marrying a guy she'd be, like, the worst lesbian ever."

~*~

Ross referring to Rachel's resumes: "Rachel, did you proof-read these first?"

Rachel: "Yeah, why?"

Ross: "Oh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent 'compuper' skills."

Rachel: "Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?"

Joey: "Oh, no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few."

~*~

Ross: "Hey, Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?"

Joey: "Probably kill myself."

Ross: "What?"

Joey: "Hey, if little Joey's dead, I've got no reason to live."

Ross: "No Joey, omnipotent."

Joey: "Ross? You are? Oh, I'm sorry!"

~*~

Monica: "Hey. Where is he? Where's Richard? Did you ditch him?

Joey: "Yeah. Right after we stole his lunch money and gave him a wedgie. What's the matter with you? He's parking the car!"

~*~

Joey: "Hi! I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio."

Auditioner: "What's your name?

Joey: "Holden McGroin"

~*~

Ross: "I, I don't know. It's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it, but she's, she's pretty upset about it."

Joey: "See. This is why I don't date women who read!"

~*~

Ross: "What? Whoa! Whoa! $3500 at Porcelain Safari?"

Joey: "My animals. Hey, the guy said they suited me. He spoke with an accent...I was all confused."

~*~

Ross (in reference to Marcel): "He's reached sexual maturity."

Joey (to Chandler): "Hey! He beat 'ya!"

~*~

Ross: "I'm not in the [friend] zone."

Joey: "You're mayor of the zone."

~*~*~*~


Ross Geller

Ross (to Rachel): "You're over me? You're...over...me? When were you...under me?

~*~

Ross (regarding Ben): "I don't believe this! I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over? The first time he crawled? What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet? Is he driving? Does he have a favourite liquor?"

~*~

Ross: "You know how the nurse said that Nana had passed, well she's not quite."

Mrs Geller: "What?"

Ross: "She's not passed, she's present."

~*~

Ross: "Are you sure? Phoebe just threw away two jacks because they didn't look happy."

~*~

Chandler: [reading cake] "Happy Birthday, Peohee".

Monica: "Maybe we can make a 'b' out of one of those roses."

Ross: "Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools."

~*~

Ross (to Rachel): "What about, 'Forget relationships. I'm through with men.' The whole penis embargo?"

~*~

Ross: "Hey Pheebs...are you going to eat the rest of that pop tart?"

Phoebe: "...Does anyone want the rest of this pop tart?"

Ross: "Hey, I might!"

~*~

Phoebe: "Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite Carol to Thanksgiving dinner?"

Ross: "Ooh, ooh, because she'd probably want to bring her lesbian life partner."

~*~

Monica: "So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?"

Joey: "Oh, we flipped for it. I got the cigar, he got the moustache. Figured if we both grew it, we'd look like dorks."

Ross: "Yeah. You really side-stepped that landmine."

~*~

Ross: "I suppose we're looking for a more sophisticated answer than, 'To get you into bed?'"

~*~

Ross to Paolo: "I think I speak for everyone when I say... [slams door in Paulo's face]"

~*~*~*~


Monica Geller

Monica: "Really, Pheebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing."

~*~

Chandler: "Can I borrow your phone?"

Monica: "Okay, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone."

~*~

Joey: "Oh, hey, Monica. We've got a question."

Monica: "Alright. For the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in the shower at the gym, and no, I don't look."

~*~

Joey: "Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?"

Monica: "Well, we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink! I mean how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or, or to a club? Or to the... zoo..."

~*~

Ross: "And I got this blouse for mom..."

Monica: "Ross, that is gorgeous!"

Ross: "Yeah."

Monica: "Look at these authentic fake medals! I tell you, mom is going to be voted best dressed at the Make-Believe Military Academy!"

~*~

Monica: "This woman is living my life and she's doing it better than me! She has everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother!"

~*~

Monica: "See, now they're as different as night and... later that night."

~*~

Ross: "I meant because the monkey in [that commercial] reminds me of Marcel."

Phoebe: "I can see that cuz they both have those big brown eyes, and, you know, the little pouty chin."

Monica: "And the fact that they're both monkeys?!"

~*~

Monica: "Um, yeah, so uh, uh, listen. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, but umm...I, I'm no longer at my job. I had to leave it."

Mrs. Geller: "Why?"

Monica: "Because they made me."

~*~

Rachel: "No, no, no. Wait. I wanna see what happens."

Joey: "Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out."

Rachel: "Well, how can that be? You were just kissing Sabrina!"

Monica: "Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neurosurgeon!"

~*~

Rachel: "What? So you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute... what's the worst that could happen?"

Monica: "He could hear me!"

~*~

Joey: "So when do we get to meet the guy?"

Monica: "Let's see... today's Monday? Never."

~*~*~*~



Phoebe Buffay

Chandler [to Monica]: "All right, okay, all right. But if we put on spandex and my boobs are bigger than yours, I'm going home."

Phoebe: "Your boobs are fine! I never should have said anything. Come here." [tries to hug him] "Oooh... can't... make... hands... meet..."

~*~

Phoebe (to Monica and Rachel): "You know, if we were in prison, you guys would be like, my bitches."

~*~

Phoebe: "Ok, ok, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes with the money. Do you know what I'd hear with every step I took? 'Not-mine, not-mine, not-mine.' And even if I were happy, ok, and, and skipping, I'd hear, 'notNOT-mine, notNOT-mine, notNOT-mine, notNOT-mine..'"

~*~

Roger: "What's wrong, sweetie?"

Phoebe: "Nothing, nothing, I'm fine... It's just, um, it's my friends. They have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't."

~*~

Phoebe: "I see, so then you were lying?"

Joey: "About what?"

Phoebe: "About how good your cards were."

Joey: "I was bluffing."

Phoebe: "Uh huh. And what is 'bluffing?' Is it not another word for lying?"

~*~

Phoebe: "The vet said that a dog's ear grows back once in a blue moon, so, we're hoping!"

~*~

Phoebe: "I remember when I got my first paycheque. There was a cave-in at the mines and five people died."

Monica: "You worked in a mine?"

Phoebe: "No, at a Dairy Queen.

~*~

Monica: "So, anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And, Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which'll be great for me 'cause you can "ooh" and "ahh" and make yummy noises."

Rachel: "What're you going to make?"

Phoebe: "Yummy noises."

Rachel: "And Monica, what are you going to make?"

~*~

Chandler: "Who doesn't like me?"

Phoebe: "Everyone. Well, except for...no...everyone."

~*~

Phoebe (referring to It's A Wonderful Life): "I didn't watch the ending. I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse. It should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does."

~*~

Phoebe: "I don't know, I mean, he just won't, you know, touch me."

Joey: "He won't even have sex?"

Phoebe: "No, not even that!"

Joey: Wow... did you ever think maybe, you know, he 'drives his car on the wrong side of the road'?"

Phoebe: "What do you mean, he's not like British or anything."

~*~

Chandler: "Oh, I think this is the episode of 'Three's Company' where there's some kind of misunderstanding."

Phoebe: "Then I've already seen this." picks up remote and turns off TV

Monica: "Do you have a plan, Pheebs?"

Phoebe: "I don't even have a pla!"

~*~

Phoebe: "But this is my gig! This is where I play! My name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase... chalk."

~*~

Ross: "Heating device"

Phoebe: "Radiator"

Ross: "Five letters"

Phoebe: "Rdtor!"

~*~

Phoebe: "Okay, look -- before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, okay, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities."

Ross: "It's the only possibility, Phoebe."

Phoebe: "Okay, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much? Now, wasn't there a time when the brightest minds of the world believed that the earth was flat? And up until, like, what, fifty years ago, you all thought that the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit there's a teeny, tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?"

Ross: "There might be... a teeny... tiny... possibility."

Phoebe: "I can't believe you caved!"

~*~

Phoebe: "Something just brushed up against my leg!"

Monica: "Eeeewww! What is it?"

Phoebe: "Oh, it's just my other leg."

~*~

Rachel: "Uhhh...I mean, this is like reading about my own life. I mean, this book could have been called Be Your Own Wind-keeper Rachel".

Phoebe: "I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you."

~*~

Phoebe: "You going to the hospital tonight?"

Monica: "No, you?"

Phoebe: "No, you?"

Monica: "You just asked me that."

Phoebe: "Yeah, well maybe it was a trick question."

~*~

Rachel: "My God! These are incredible! How come I've never had these before?"

Phoebe: "Oh I don't make them very often. It isn't fair to the other cookies."

~*~

Ross: "A thumb?!"

Phoebe: "I know, I know."

All: "Ewwwwwwwwwww!"

Phoebe: "I opened it up, and there it was just floating there, like this tiny little hitchhiker."

~*~

Phoebe: "So, how many chords do you know?"

Chrissie Hynde: "All of them."

Phoebe: "Do you know, like, D?"

Chrissie: "Yeah."

Phoebe: "Okay, do you know, like, A minor?"

Chrissie: "Uh...yeah."

Phoebe: "Do you know how to go from, D to A minor?"

Chrissie: "Yeah?"

Phoebe: "Oh. Does your guitar have a strap?"

Chrissie: "No."

Phoebe: "Well, mine does!"

~*~*~*~


Rachel Green

Rachel: "OK, I know this is going to sound really stupid...but I feel that if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do."

~*~

Rachel: "Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?"

~*~

Rachel: "Hey, Chandler...Monica just broke my seashell lamp!"

Chandler: "Neat! I'm gonna die alone."

Rachel: "...OK...you win."

~*~

Ross: "And you had no idea they weren't getting along?"

Rachel: "None."

Joey: "They didn't fight a lot?"

Rachel: "No! They didn't even talk to each other! My god, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?"

~*~

Chandler: "Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15."

Rachel: "Wow, he must like you the best."

~*~

Rachel: "OK, OK, OK. Moving on, moving on, next question. OK, number 29. Have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightening bearer? OK, number 30."

Monica: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go back to 29."

Rachel: "Not, uh, not to my recollection."

Monica: "Hu-uh. Alright. Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me."

Rachel: "Only 'cause you took up half the circle!"

~*~

Phoebe: "And now we need the semen of a righteous man."

Rachel: "Okay, Phoebes. You know, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place."

~*~

Monica: "Rach, does this have non-fat milk?"

Rachel: "Um, I don't know. Why don't you taste it?"

Monica: "Umm, no."

Rachel: "Oh. Well, too late you already had some."

~*~

Rachel: "Oh, Joey. When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I'd just hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me."

~*~

Chandler: "So Rach, did you dream about me last night?"

Rachel: "Well, you weren't the only one there. Joey was there too."

Joey: "Whoa! So was it like you and Chandler and then you and me, and then you and me and Chandler."

Rachel: "Yeah. And sometimes it wasn't even me."

~*~

Mr. Treeger: "So, uh, is this mistletoe?"

Rachel: "No, act... No, uh, that is... basil!"

Mr. Treeger: "Ah, if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you."

Rachel: "Yeah... No, it's still basil."

~*~

Monica: "Well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress."

Rachel: "Oh, I see... and I'm sort of maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics."

~*~

Ross: "Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, you know, giving him away."

Rachel: "Oh, Ross, you had to. I mean, he was humping everything in sight! I mean, I have a Malibu Barbie that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding."

~*~

Rachel: "OK, I, I will do your laundry for one month."

Monica: "No."

Rachel: "OK, OK, OK, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months."

Monica: "Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan."

Rachel: "Agghhh!!!"

~*~

Rachel's Mom: "Oh, look at this."

Rachel: "Ahh, these are our Halloween pictures from three years ago!"

Rachel's Mom: "Oh, and look. Here's Barry. Did he have to come straight from the office?"

Rachel: "Oh, no, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist."

~*~

Rachel (to Marcel): "Bad, bad monkey!

Ross: "What? What happened?"

Rachel: "Oh, let's just say my Curious George isn't curious anymore!"

~*~

Phoebe (explaining why she didn't get a tattoo): "I know, I know, and I was gonna get it, but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?"

Rachel: "Really? You don't say! Because mine was licked on by kittens!"

~*~

Rachel: Just one cheek.

Ross: Nuhuh, the moment's gone.

Rachel: Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.

Ross: Oh, that's romantic...

Rachel: Come on, touch it!

Ross: No.

Rachel: Oh, come on! Squeeze it!

Ross: No!

Rachel: Rub it!

Ross: NO!

Rachel: Oh, come on! Would you just grab my ass?!

~*~*~*~

 

 



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